Letter from Anusja – A warm note in cold times.

Dear Arun,

 

Exactly one year ago we were driving to Aachen, where we met. I remember sitting there so nervous. Not knowing what to do or what to say.

And there you were sitting in front of me, going patiently through all information and looking at me, also not saying much.

Amazed by how I collected everything and wrote down everything.

 

You explained me about your difficult work and possible results which left me amazed.

 

All I could wish and hope for, was you telling me – to take on my case because no one in this world was willing to care about it or doing something with it. Or even was able to.

 

And my heart was aching so much.

 

And there you were, telling me the freeing words… “I will take up your case”. Telling me honestly you could not promise me the positive outcome of finding my mother, but you would at least try.

I told you, I was willing to pay for your work- because it is normal regardless the outcome.

 

I will never forget about that day, because you were there ACTUALLY caring. Because you took up my case, I was able to keep everything in life I worked for. My job, my relationships, and family.

 

The little things like the facebooklikes you gave, assured me you were out there caring. And it helped me to continue with the waiting.

 

Today 365 days later, the impossible has been made possible by your hard work, caring heart and fabulous teamwork with Anjali.

 

I met my mother twice, and the heartache has been removed. I can smile for real now. And if I miss my mother, I can watch the framed pictures and cotton and the missing is less.

 

I am about to go back to Belgium in 4 hours, and I can return to my life there thanks to you both. I can even look forward to the future, thanks to you. I can become a mother myself, because I now know mine is not crazy, or poor, or has a terrible disease or did not love me as I heard lots of times growing up.

I now know for sure, based on facts that the girl in the pictures assumed to be my mother or elder sister is not my mother or a sister. If I would not have been helped by you, I was probably running around India looking for the woman in the pictures. Which appears now, not to be a relative. Thank you for taking away this huge uncertainty.

I now know I have a mother with a heart of gold, who looked into my eyes with so much love, regret and happiness. Who has the smile I have. A mother who was able to raise 4 children and gave them a good life and future on her own. A mother who was able to stay alive even though all difficulties life gave her. A mother who risked her life, for seeing me once more. A mother who reads and is proud of her knowledge, a smart and intelligent woman. A mother who has a house and does not live on the streets. A mother who was in physical pain, but found it more important to sit straight so her daughter could be close to her.

 

I felt the motherlove I missed out all of my life, and it gives me the self worth I never had in return.

I will treasure it for the rest of my life in every step I take.

 

So thank you for giving me, what I always hoped for.

 

I know life is hard on you at the moment, and it honestly breaks my heart to hear how people are treating you.

 

You deserve a good life Arun, a life  in which you are surrounded with people who see your caring heart. So I hope by sending you this email, I can be one of these people.

 

Whoever tells you should stop this nonsense and do stupid brainless useless work, must read the difference you made in my life. My mothers life, Yoni’s life, and our future childrens life.

 

I hope they will see you are far from crazy.

 

But you actually are one of the only persons in this world who understands what adoption means and has a solution to offer for the heartache it brings and desperation for adoptees and their families.

I wish the professionals would learn and listen from you and Anjali so workload for you both gets less and you can have a life as well. But I know this is still a long way to go.

 

Know I will stay tuned; and try my best to help where I can. We will make the website once there is a green light on all other administration things.

 

We should meet soon, and have good food together – and I will also go to Kind & Gezin so I can at least talk from my experience how you are making the difference for us and how they did not.

 

Please take good care of yourself.

 

Warm regards,

 

Anusja